


Broken Pieces Left Behind

by Arcturus_Sinclair



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-28
Updated: 2013-01-28
Packaged: 2017-11-27 06:51:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/659108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arcturus_Sinclair/pseuds/Arcturus_Sinclair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A study of Spencer Reid and Maeve Donovan. (AKA how S08E13 "Magnum Opus" should have gone given Reid's addiction.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Pieces Left Behind

_B a n g._

_\---_

The noise startled Spencer out of a sound sleep. Or, better put, the memory of a noise. The gunshot that killed both Diane and Maeve. The gunshot that sent him into the downward spiral.

That downward spiral being the fact that he hasn't left his apartment in a good few weeks now, he's not even sure how long. Not to mention the cravings, that itch in his veins that makes him just want to forget. It's always been stronger in the morning, now more than ever.

It's strong enough today to make him have to close his eyes and suck in a ragged breath. He wasn't going to give into it, though. He was stronger than that. But he wanted, god how he wanted. He could do this, though. He did it before—with Emily Then again...he hadn't been in love with Emily. Spencer Reid didn't fall in love. But oh look, he did and it hurt.

But Maeve wouldn't want this for him, she'd want him to get help, to talk to someone. He'd told her about what happened with Tobais, all of it. After all, how could someone fall in love with just the good? She knew every inch of him, and he her. And that's what made him fall for her. One of the many things, really.

But no one could understand. People had enough trouble understanding him on a good day, how could they possibly understand him at his lowest?

He shook his head and finally made his way out of bed. Coffee, coffee helped the cravings. It helped the sharp urges that were making him want to go out and get the drugs, knowing there was a dealer a few blocks over.

He pulled out a cup, or tried to, watching as it slid through numb fingers to shatter on the floor. The urge to sob welled up, taking his breath away. He pushed himself away from the mess to collapse into the chair closest to him. His mind was still working, screaming at him that this was a panic attack. He managed to breathe through it, though. Then he was back up, gingerly stepping around the mess and pulling out a plastic cup this time. He poured his coffee into it, savoring the way the heat began to burn his fingers, giving him sensation he hadn't felt in weeks. He poured sugar into the cup next, not being able to tolerate black coffee even in his grief.

He settled on the couch, pulling the blankets around him, and was ready to stay that way for the rest of the day, except maybe to eat if he remembered. (He rarely remembered.)

A knock on the door stopped that. He was tempted to ignore it, as he'd been doing since he started his self induced solitude. The voice on the other side stopped that idea, too.

“Reid? Are you in there?” The voice belonged to none other than Hotch, one of the two people that hadn't come knocking continuously. Even Strauss had been there a few times—she brought a fruit basket. It was fake, though, all wax fruit. He hadn't seen Hotch since the funeral.

He pushed himself up, nearly falling back down and splashing now lukewarm coffee all over himself. He pulled the door open after putting his cup down. He stared up at Hotch, ready to make an excuse when-

“I need help.” The words tumbled from his mouth, shaky and in a voice that was clearly unused, it actually cracked on the word help. Hotch didn't get a chance to respond, he had to dive forward and catch Spencer before he hit the ground, unconcious.

**Author's Note:**

> This may end up a chapter fic, depending. I'm not sure how pleased I am leaving the ending the way it is.


End file.
